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Here I have compiled all types of best one liners of all time that can be useful for one liner quotes, status and one line captions, and jokes for Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp. These best one line Instagram captions feature famous, inspirational , funny, sarcastic quotes and status about life, boys, girls.Puns And One Liners. Check our Twitter and Facebook feeds for a joke on the hour every hour… Menu Close Indexes; 2023; 2022; 2021; 2020; 2019; 2018; 2017; 2016; 2015; 2014; 2013; Penguin Jokes Saw an emperor penguin wearing a toga. Think it was Julius Freezer.Absolutely hillarious sarcastic one-liners! The largest collection of sarcastic one-line jokes in the world. All sorted from the best by our visitors. See TOP 10 sarcastic one liners.

Feb 19, 2024 - Explore John Wendt's board "Funny one liners" on Pinterest. See more ideas about funny, funny quotes, bones funny.Birthday one liners. I threw a ball for my dog... It's a bit extravagant I know, but it was his birthday and he looks great in a dinner jacket. One liner tags: animal, birthday, puns. 91.43 % / 1762 votes. share. I was born to be a pessimist. My blood type is B Negative. One liner tags: attitude, birthday, life, puns.Noticing the lack of valuable parting gifts, we could not help but add a hilarious element to the collection by designing some phenomenal funny goodbye one liners. These Funny T-Shirts work like a charm on any occasion; from a farewell to a retirement or just any occasion you find appropriate. Sarcastic one liners about life are loved by all; a ...This means to the average person, if you go to a funeral, you're better off in the casket than doing the eulogy. One liner tags: death, life, people. 82.14 % / 1702 votes. Lance is an uncommon name nowadays. But in medieval times people were named Lance a lot. One liner tags: people, puns. 82.06 % / 68 votes. Light travels faster than sound.13. Short Retirement Quotes. Here are quotes that are short and sweet—ideal for texting and eliciting a chuckle or two from your retired friend or family member. “Retirement: Enjoy every day.”. “Retirement is not the end, it’s a new beginning.”. “The best is yet to come.”. “Life begins at retirement.”.

You see the result standing in front of you, a simpleton." - Chic Murray. "If you're a boy in my town, you have one of three names. You're called John, Paul, or John Paul.". - Fern ...Here are 50 of Milton Jones's best jokes: "If you're being chased by a police dog, try not to go through a tunnel, then on to a little seesaw, then jump through a hoop of fire. They're ... ….

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Drug one liners. Smoking will kill you... Bacon will kill you... But, smoking bacon will cure it. One liner tags: death, drug, food, health, sarcastic. 87.19 % / 3600 votes. share. I bought some shoes from a drug dealer. I don't know what …Which is what I do, and that enables you to laugh at life's realities." - Dr. Seuss. 6. "Freud: If it's not one thing, it's your mother." - Robin Williams. 7. "Anyone who goes to a psychiatrist ...

Jul 11, 2023 · From short and snappy lines to clever wordplay, humorous observations about people and life situations, and even some delightfully corny jokes, this compilation of one line humor is designed to bring you laughter and brighten your day. Short Yet Funny One Liners.Let's face it—at my age, I'm very pleased to be anywhere." —George Burns (comedian) "The trouble with quotes about death is that 99.9% of them are made by people who are still alive." —Joshua Burns. "All tragedies are finished by a death, all comedies by a marriage." —Lord Byron (poet)The teacher says “Spit your gum out” and the train says, “Chew, chew!”. Teacher: Jimmy, you know you can’t sleep in my class. Student: I know. But maybe if you were just a little quieter, I could. Laugh more: Funny Student Puns and Jokes.

daily crossword free printable 71. "Buffet" is a French word that means "get up and get it yourself.". 72. Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the ... lightning spear dark soulscraigslist riviera beach fl 47 of the Funniest One-Liners on the Internet. By Tim Latterner. Updated: Jan. 25, 2024. Nothing's easier than a simple one-liner. The biggest laughs come from jokes that take little more than a ...Please, wait while I fetch my tiny violin,” said the person who wasn’t sympathetic. “I’m not being sarcastic; I’m just allergic to stupidity,” said the person with a sneer. “Oh, you’re leaving? Please, take your negativity with you,” said the person who was unimpressed. “I’m not short-tempered. I just have a quick reaction ... how do you get to vashj'ir 44. “You stink. You smell like beef and cheese. You don’t smell like Santa.” —Buddy the Elf, Elf. Will Ferrell plays Buddy the Elf in this modern classic filled with funny Christmas movie ...Project you as the funniest. Attract people through your continuous one-liners. Give you a happy time reading them. The Book of Sarcastic One-liners is the p (h)unniest, wittiest, and the meanest compilation of one-liners that is sure to give you an upper hand. If you like to laugh your way to hilarity, have endless one-liners up your sleeve ... fella health costjewel weekly ads aurora ilgreenville mi movie theater showtimes Body like a Greek statue – completely pale, no arms.”. – Phil Wang. “If God had written the Bible, the first line should have been ‘It’s round.'”. – Eddie Izzard. “I bought ...Look no further! We have compiled a collection of over 50 cat jokes one-liners that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Whether you’re a cat lover or just looking to brighten your day, these jokes will have you laughing out loud. So sit back, relax, and get ready to unleash the laughter with these hilarious feline-inspired jokes! 92 toyota pickup for sale 1. Positive Quotes. 2. Funny one-liner from Disney film. This entry was posted in Life. Bookmark the permalink . Goodbye shouldn't be always sad. it's a part of life. With funny goodbye quotes you can help to ease the anxiety of saying goodye and bring a … vanderbilt baseball gamehow to unlock railgunner risk of rain 2lawson's funeral homes and cremation services jay obituaries Find funny puns, corny one-liners and bad-but-good jokes that even Dad would approve of. Stock up on silly dad jokes and corny puns with these hilarious one-liners. IE 11 is not supported.